So Much For That

At any given time, I’m harboring one or two secret crushes on upcoming movies. They’re usually projects that have little or no buzz behind them, and they almost invariably build to a roaring crescendo by the time they come out.

They also almost invariably star Natalie Portman.

Like Garden State and V For Vendetta before it, I have been anticipating the Portman-starring Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium for months off little more than a simple synopsis.

Molly Mahoney (Natalie Portman) is the awkward and insecure manager of Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium, the strangest, most fantastic, most wonderful toy store in the world. But when Mr. Magorium, a 243-year-old eccentric (Dustin Hoffman), bequeaths the store to her, a dark and ominous change begins to take over the once remarkable Emporium.

It seemed like the kind of story that could be given a dark enough spin to successfully bridge the generation gap. With the leaking of at least one promising picture (Mr. Magorium's stamp of approval, presumably for his toys) and the close of principal photography, a trailer became imminent. I waited with baited breath, prepared to be blown away.

Yesterday, I found it.

Not so dark and mysterious as I had hoped. Bright colors, weird accents, obnoxious camera angles, Jason Bateman playing the same character he’s played for the last however-many years. Hoffman calls to mind other characters that have already been done more than once, and the whole things reeks of a certain kind of mysticality that isn’t easy to pull off.

I’ll keep my eye on this one, but I can’t help but feel more than a little let down by the thought of what could have been.