Wha' Happened?

I'll tell you what: I finally re-(or mis-)prioritized my life to make a blog entry to this fantastic world called the Internet. I've had lots of excuses to put it off the last few weeks, from English papers to weddings to basking in the world of transformers for the first time in essentially twenty years, but I was finally chided into responding about what I'm looking forward to this year (happy birthday Gregorino). So bear with me as I venture into uncharted territories and attempt to reconcile my ability to write both well and succinctly with my passion for movies (read: tendency to rant and overuse parentheses) in my first ever posting anywhere.

First up, five movies coming this month I'll still not have seen the next time you hear from me, no matter the date:

• I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

Though Jessica Biel is hot and un-spellable, this still will only accomplish me disliking that tint on my name more than I already do.

• Daddy Day Camp

Good to see Cuba Gooding, Jr. is now the poor man's Eddie Murphy. Yeah Snow Dogs!

• Underdog

Because George of the Jungle worked. Because Dudley Do-Right worked. Because Bewitched worked. Hollywood, you amaze me. When are you going to try The Hair Bear Bunch Movie or Super Globetrotters? Huh? My check better be in the mail. P.S.: Jason Lee - fire your agent or give up whatever drug you're on. And Grow your beard back.

• Bratz

Self explanatory.

• Rush Hour 3

Not surprised they made a movie around Chris Tucker yelling "Can you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?" Kinda surprised they made three. If it's a cliffhanger, I'd put money that the break will be between "words" and "that".


On to the movies that I actually am on the edge of my seat waiting for:

• Synecdoche, New York

Now, as you (the potential reader) probably don't know about how I judge my interest in upcoming projects, I tend to look forward to works by directors and especially writers as much as most keep track of the goings-on of certain actors. There are only a few on that list, but at the top is one Charlie Kaufman. I've been anticipating this outside-the-box writer's next project ever since I left the theatre from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (deemed by me to be 2004's best). In the 3 year interim, I've learned that his next project is to be directed by him to boot. Needless to say, even though I know essentially no details about the film (other than its upstate richness - being both set there and starring Philip Seymour Hoffman) I'm blindly looking forward to this like no other film since possibly Cars, which is to say "quite a lot".

• There Will Be Blood

Another solid hitter in writing / directing to me is P.T. Anderson. The boy from Studio City has an artsy originality in his work that seems to repeatedly pique my interest, a trend likely to continue with an adaptation from Upton Sinclair. I'm not usually a huge fan of period films, but when done right they have a way of completely engulfing my attention, so my hopes are high for this particular project.

• Shoot 'Em Up

I enjoy Clive Owen. I enjoy Paul Giamatti more, his father's decisions about Pete Rose aside. When the two are thrown at each other, the film's potential is proportional to their time acting rather than running around.

• The Bourne Ultimatum
• The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
• Across the Universe

Greg efficiently summed up my feelings of these three with one exception. Though I'm more Motown oriented than my colleague, I've found reworking the composition of established songs to create a whole new meaning to be immensely fascinating. That fully makes up the difference of our interest in the works of the Fab Four, so my anticipation echoes his. With a benchmark like Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, it has nowhere to go but up (plus, not a Gibb in sight this time).

• The Game Plan

Not so much interest to see anything put on film for this one, but more curious to see just how low the newly re-christened Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's career is going to (further) fall after this fiasco.

• No Country for Old Men

To bring my writings full circle: the writing duo who have fallen from grace. I still have hopes the Coens will return to form, but with each passing picture, that hope fades a little more. Judging from the trailer, however, it looks like they finally realized that their comedy flows well when it's made up of clumsiness juxtaposed against a beak background, if they choose to use it at all.



Well, that (all that) is it for now, but hopefully reading my first foray into the public collective was as entertaining to read as it was to write. I'll use these paragraph and sentence breaks I've heard so much about next time. Promise. Until a later date, Mahalo.

All Is (Hopefully) Not Lost

I feel compelled to defend myself against the accusation that I am uninterested in 2007’s remaining releases. While there is certainly no King Kong on the horizon (oh, how I miss those production diaries), there are at least a few upcoming releases have managed to catch my attention for reasons that mostly differ from potential headiness. In the name of proving Chuck wrong (and to hopefully provoke him into finally posting something), I present a non-inclusive (and later-to-be regretted) list of those very titles:

The Bourne Ultimatum

A character that isn’t nearly as popular as his seemingly-unanimous appreciation among movie fans suggests he should be is rounding out his very own trilogy. Paul Greengrass (who directed the second Bourne chapter) is again behind the sure-to-be-shaking camera and Matt Damon is again in front of it, reprising the only role that he’s ever played with any sense of assurance. Give me another cool car chase, a little bit of character-closure, and action smart enough to take in more than once and I’ll be one happy camper.

Superbad

This movie looks stupid from almost every angle, but I’m looking forward to it, anyway. Seth Rogan and Michael Cera are both winners in my book, making the hilarious phone conversation in the red-band trailer merely icing on the cake. I am McLovin’.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

I had forgotten all about this one until its blip on my radar was resuscitated by an unlikely source: Joe Carnahan’s blog. Not even Brad Pitt can quell my anticipation for this one – and, impossibly, I don’t even have a good reason why.

Here’s hoping that’s a not a setup for disappointment.

Across the Universe

If it’s sung by the Beatles, it reminds me of summer. By no stretch of any man’s imagination am I a fan of musicals, but the Beatles will land me front and center every time. That, and Evan Rachel Wood is cute as hell.

I Am Legend

Think Castaway with more back story, less hope, and a cooler car (which is to say: a car, period). Now think Will Smith instead of Tom Hanks, and way less opportunity for Fed Ex to place their product. Now think about all that with an apparent element of horror.

Actually, just watch the trailer.

The Golden Compass

Daniel Craig and Sam Elliot in the same epic fantasy? Only the inclusion of an intense (and CGI-rendered) polar bear could make this one more interesting. (... Check)

The story looks every bit as cool as the presentation, and the roster of fine actors and actresses assembled behind that promise lend the hope of enchantment some solid legitimacy.

That’s right: enchantment.